Not too long ago, I worked under a leader who believed that blaming and shaming were effective ways to motivate people. Whenever an error occurred, his immediate response was designed to make you feel bad about yourself, as if that would somehow improve performance. The number of ways this approach is flawed can hardly be counted.
First, the company had a value statement that emphasized respect for people, yet this leader’s behavior contradicted that principle at every turn. Second, as a seasoned executive myself, my competence was sufficient and my commitment to getting things right was never in question. So it begs the question, “what value is created by telling me I’m to blame for an omission or error?” Blame says nothing about the right way to do a thing and blame is a huge drain on people’s motivation and engagement.
A Leader’s Real Responsibility
If I ever thought someone intentionally made a mistake, I wouldn’t be coaching them—I’d be questioning whether they belonged on the team at all. But assuming someone is part of the team, then it is my responsibility as a leader to help them become the best team member possible.
Blame and shame don’t get that done. Blame doesn’t identify root causes. Blame doesn’t teach the right way forward. Blame doesn’t create an environment where people feel encouraged to improve.
A great leader starts by assuming that people want to do the right thing. If they fall short, the first place to look is not at them—it’s at yourself. Did I prepare them to succeed? Did I provide the right training, tools, and guidance? There’s an old saying: “If the student hasn’t learned, the teacher hasn’t taught.” The same applies to leadership. A lack of performance is rarely a motivation problem. More often, it’s a knowledge gap, a skill gap, or a lack of a supporting environment.
Be a Coach, Not a Critic
A great leader is like a great coach—always looking for ways to help their team get better. A bad coach sees an athlete miss a play and makes them feel bad about it. A great coach sees the same mistake and says, “Let’s talk about how we can do that better next time.”
The same is true in the workplace. If a report is incorrect or a task isn’t completed properly, the first question should be: Does this person have the ability to do this job well? If no, then the leader needs to help them find the right role. If yes, then the focus shifts to coaching and development.
A great coach—and a great leader—is no less critical of performance. But they recognize that their job is to develop their team, helping them grow until they reach peak performance—or until it becomes clear that they need a different role.
That’s what great leaders do. They don’t blame. They build.